Sunday, January 23, 2011
Sunshine and Rain
You can't have all rain. You definitely need the warmth of the sun. I am so blessed to have so much sunshine in the form of friends, family and loved ones. They have let me cry through the tough times, responded with words of encouragement. Helped me laugh through fearful times and celebrated with me in the good times. These are people that I can call any time night or day and know that they will pray with me. That they are standing in agreement with me. Their sunshine helped to dry up my tears and replace sad faces with smiles and laughter. I don't have words to express how grateful and how blessed I am to have them in my life. They are not intrusive, they don't ask many questions, they are just there. I don't know what I would do without them. I love you all so very much and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. May God bless you as you have been a blessing to me. Some people are put into your life for a season, some a lifetime.....I am glad that you have been with me through this season and beyond!
Why Rain?
I guess many of you have realized that my real name isn't Rain. So why would I choose a name that is so commonly associated with dreary dismal days? I feel that it is truly representative of this process. Finding out that you are unable to have children the conventional way is dismal. I cried a lot, however, through my tears I was able to see the blessing of IVF. There was a time when women were just considered barren. There was no other option for them. Thanks be to God, I had another option!
While most people hate when it rains, I love listening to the sound of pitter patter as it hits my skylights. I love the smell just before the first drop kisses the earth. I love the look of sun as it shines on the rain kissed earth. Most of all I love the fact that rain causes things to grow. Without rain, things dry out and die. So to me its a very fitting name.
I am growing as an individual and most importantly I am creating an environment where I will be able to love and nurture my children as they one day grow inside of me.
While most people hate when it rains, I love listening to the sound of pitter patter as it hits my skylights. I love the smell just before the first drop kisses the earth. I love the look of sun as it shines on the rain kissed earth. Most of all I love the fact that rain causes things to grow. Without rain, things dry out and die. So to me its a very fitting name.
I am growing as an individual and most importantly I am creating an environment where I will be able to love and nurture my children as they one day grow inside of me.
Watching seeds grow
Unlike with real plants once you mix sperm with egg you can see which ones are fertilized within a 24 hour time period. We received a call today from the lab letting us know that we have 27 fertilized eggs. As the lab technician stated "They have a lot to work with". I was soooooo excited! We will have a 5 day transfer which will take place on Thursday. Now obviously they can't transfer all of the embryos, I think the max is three....I still wonder to this day how the heck someone approved Octo-mom an 8 embryo transfer! Over the next 5 days, the lab will watch our little seedlings grow. The cream of the crop will be selected and transferred back into me. The rest will be stored in the freezer for possible later use. In the mean time, I am to treat my body with care and start on my new meds, Cipro, Medrol, Estrace and Progeterone. Phase two lets go!!!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Cheaper by the Dozen(s)
Today was the beginning of the next step in our process. Egg retrieval day! I woke up this morning feeling crappy. My tummy was full of ready to be extracted follicles. We went in at 10 AM to get prepped and ready. They gave me some good narcotics and I was out like a light. The medication the anesthesiologist basically puts you to sleep, but you breathe on your own. When I woke up I remember hearing that they extracted 41 eggs! 41!!!!!!
The average number of eggs retrieved during this procedure depends upon the person, however my research online suggests its about 10-12. I produced 4 times as many! It definitely gives the lab a lot to work with, but it also puts me at risk for Ovarian Hyper stimulation. I will have to monitor myself over the next few days to make sure that doesn't happen. Lets just say there is a lot more room in my belly and boy do I feel better!
The only tough part of the day was recovering from the anesthesia. I was a bit wobbly due to my blood pressure going up and down, however, after some ginger ale and crackers in my belly. I felt much better.
Overall today was a great day! My husband was a huge support and we had a lot of laughs about me being referred as "the girl with all the eggs" LOL No seriously....that's how the lab referred to me!
IVF is a very expensive process, especially the medication. I would definitely say we got our moneys worth!
The average number of eggs retrieved during this procedure depends upon the person, however my research online suggests its about 10-12. I produced 4 times as many! It definitely gives the lab a lot to work with, but it also puts me at risk for Ovarian Hyper stimulation. I will have to monitor myself over the next few days to make sure that doesn't happen. Lets just say there is a lot more room in my belly and boy do I feel better!
The only tough part of the day was recovering from the anesthesia. I was a bit wobbly due to my blood pressure going up and down, however, after some ginger ale and crackers in my belly. I felt much better.
Overall today was a great day! My husband was a huge support and we had a lot of laughs about me being referred as "the girl with all the eggs" LOL No seriously....that's how the lab referred to me!
IVF is a very expensive process, especially the medication. I would definitely say we got our moneys worth!
When it rains....
On Saturday 1/8 I started the IVF cycle of medication I take Gonal F and Menapur. Normally they tell you that you will be on the meds for 7-10 days before they do an egg retrieval. I was on medication for 12 days. I began going to the doctor every other day for blood work. Around Thursday I began going to the doctor everyday around 7AM. They were starting to count and measure the number of follicles. So every morning I was up bright and early to pricked and prodded.
Apparently I was responding well to the medication which was great to hear! I was told I had good egg reserves so this would be a repetitively easy process. A few days in I started feeling really bloated and uncomfortable. This is normal with fertility medicine. My follicles were starting to grow and my body was trying to react to the number of eggs and the space they were taking up. Over several days I began to produce more and more eggs. The feedback I was getting from the doctors was that I had a lot of little follicles. I'm thinking this is great! I just didn't realize how many follicles they were talking about.
Sometimes after a good hard rain things begin to grow our hope is that flowers begin to bloom.
Apparently I was responding well to the medication which was great to hear! I was told I had good egg reserves so this would be a repetitively easy process. A few days in I started feeling really bloated and uncomfortable. This is normal with fertility medicine. My follicles were starting to grow and my body was trying to react to the number of eggs and the space they were taking up. Over several days I began to produce more and more eggs. The feedback I was getting from the doctors was that I had a lot of little follicles. I'm thinking this is great! I just didn't realize how many follicles they were talking about.
Sometimes after a good hard rain things begin to grow our hope is that flowers begin to bloom.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Fertilizer
I think most people enter into things without knowing the whole process even when they do research. Once you get the basic gist, you feel comfortable enough to move forward. That was my thought with the whole IVF process. I did a little research, felt good about my understanding of the process and decided to move forward. I knew I was going to have to take medicine, its a part of the process, but I was utterly SHOCKED when I picked up a shopping bag full of an assortment of pills, injections, extra needles and a sharps container! There was sooooo much. Drugs of all varieties and different delivery systems. It was overwhelming to say the least.
My husband and I went for IVF orientation where they go into more detail about the process and how to administer the medication. Simply put I was overwhelmed and a little scared. What if I make a mistake and take to much or too little? The medicine is VERY expensive and the last thing I wanted is to waste it. I realized, even though I was scared, it was something I had to do. Fertilizer helps things grow. This medicine was my fertilizer in more ways than one. I followed the directions and have successfully given myself shots for 12 days in a row! It's not even a big deal anymore. I grew as a person. I faced the challenge and overcame my fears. Go me! I learned I can do anything if I put my mind to it and I did!
My husband and I went for IVF orientation where they go into more detail about the process and how to administer the medication. Simply put I was overwhelmed and a little scared. What if I make a mistake and take to much or too little? The medicine is VERY expensive and the last thing I wanted is to waste it. I realized, even though I was scared, it was something I had to do. Fertilizer helps things grow. This medicine was my fertilizer in more ways than one. I followed the directions and have successfully given myself shots for 12 days in a row! It's not even a big deal anymore. I grew as a person. I faced the challenge and overcame my fears. Go me! I learned I can do anything if I put my mind to it and I did!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Waiting for a miracle
I believe in miracles, do you? I'm a Christian and have heard many a sermon about God's miraculous power to help those who are hurting. I'm a believer. I know that God is capable of anything and everything, however, I also believe that He decides how a miracle is going to take place. He may do it one way for one person and a completely different way for another. It's that part that many people including myself have a tough time understanding. When I was told that I was unable to conceive children naturally, I asked God for a miracle. I wanted Him to just work things out so that things would just be easier. People around me told me to have faith, that God would make a way.
Each month I prayed and hoped that I would be pregnant. Each month I would get my period and find myself depressed, losing faith and utterly confused. How come you won't help me God? Why are you doing this to me? Why me? Finally I began to realize that God can work in more than one way. That just because I may have to go through treatment doesn't make Him any less miraculous or me any less faithless. I had to be patient, alert and willing to follow his voice. When I was able to get over the "woe is me attitude" I was able to see clearer. My Goal is to have children from my body. The way I get pregnant was insignificant. I learned that when we focus only on what we want, we can't always hear what God has planned for us. Not our will, but His. Once I understood that a Peace washed over me and I was ready to take the next step toward my goal!
Each month I prayed and hoped that I would be pregnant. Each month I would get my period and find myself depressed, losing faith and utterly confused. How come you won't help me God? Why are you doing this to me? Why me? Finally I began to realize that God can work in more than one way. That just because I may have to go through treatment doesn't make Him any less miraculous or me any less faithless. I had to be patient, alert and willing to follow his voice. When I was able to get over the "woe is me attitude" I was able to see clearer. My Goal is to have children from my body. The way I get pregnant was insignificant. I learned that when we focus only on what we want, we can't always hear what God has planned for us. Not our will, but His. Once I understood that a Peace washed over me and I was ready to take the next step toward my goal!
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