IVF Humor

Towards the end of the IVF cycle I had to start taking progesterone shots administered by my dear husband. They were given on either side of my tosh. Progesterone is mixed with oil (peanut, sesame or synthetic) as you know oil is thick so these shots were a bit more painful than the others. Early last month I noticed that skin around the injections sites was tender and itchy. I had it checked out by our favorite nurse who said I might be mildly allergic to the oil. Because there was no redness or bumps she recommended Benedryl cream and said I would be ok. I stopped taking the shots on the 9th but noticed the itchiness was continuing. I went back to the office to have them take another look. Unfortunately our favorite nurse was unavailable and the ONE nurse that I am not a fan of would be checking me out. Yes, this would be the one and only who I have affectionately named Nurse Wretched.

Nurse Wretched is older, the best way to explain her personality is Dry. You work in a fertility clinic for Gods sake put some pep in your step!  She shows no emotion, no excitement and often times no recollection of previously speaking with you. She did our ivf orientation....thank God there are other nurses.


Our first run in with this nurse was very early in the process when I had to have a rather uncomfortable exam where they measure the inside uterus with a catheter. I laid their calling on the Name of Jesus and reciting the Lords prayer while my husband held my hand. The Doctor was doing her job while this nurse, perhaps distracted by my prayers felt to the need to start rubbing my leg. By the end of the procedure she had her hand over the top of my husbands as if we were all in this together. While the office visit ended with me in tears, my husband and I ended our evening reenacting this nurse rubbing all over my legs and us cracking up laughing.  It may not have been funny while it was happening, but it is definitely something we laugh about frequently.

Ok so back to other day. Nurse Wretched takes me into an exam from tells me to drop trou and bend over. I do as instructed and she starts looking for any signs of redness and feeling for bumps. She finds none, so the exam should be over, but it isn't. She continues to talk telling me that it is common to feel irritation for quite some time even after you stop taking the shots. While she is sharing this information I am still bent over with her hand caressing my bum....Can someone say AWKWARD!!!! My only wish was that my husband was there so he could see the look on my face LOL.

I can't make this stuff up! Have a great day!