Pressing forward

I feel better today. I guess there is something to be said about the whole "Time heals all wounds thing". I totally get having a process to get through things. Grief is a process and that's what I'm dealing with now. I'm sad sometimes, angry others, happy when I don't have to think about it. Sometimes I just wish today was two weeks from now when time has had more of chance to heal my open wounds. I like being happy and while many would argue that happiness is a choice, I'm having difficulty choosing to feel any different than I do.

I don't want to talk and I know that this is something that doesn't sit well with most of you. I appreciate the text messages that show your concern and support. But, I still don't want to talk about it. It's hard to explain, but I'll try. I don't want the "sympathy" calls,  the "oh I'm so sorry for you blah blah blah." I want to talk about regular stuff like we did just weeks before. Like wedding plans and outfits and weight watchers. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. Pray for me...Yes. I guess it's just that I'm trying to move forward, past the situation. I don't want to get stuck here cause happy only comes around occasionally on this side of town. I don't want to rehash what was and what could have been handled differently. I just want to move on.

Please know while I may not be talking to YOU doesn't mean I'm not talking at all. I am talking to my husband so don't worry I'm not holding it in or anything like that. I'm just at a point where moving forward is a necessity. So each day I press a little further in hopes of putting the past behind me.